Loving What Is

In Byron Katie's book she writes about our doing "The Work". In reflecting on the stories we tell ourselves about situations we can create a lot of inner suffering. For example if I am speaking on a Sunday morning and a person gets up and leaves the room, I can begin making up a story about that. Maybe they are bored, don't agree with what I am saying. "Will they come back?" I worry. Can you see how I knew nothing about why the person got up and left? I began spinning a tale in my head, began suffering from my thoughts only to discover the person went to the bathroom!

"The Work" is where we investigate our thoughts and work to understand them. My thoughts above were from fear.. .I'm not good enough thinking. If we can stop our story spinning in its tracks, we will save ourselves a lot of suffering. We do this a lot... taking our uninvestigated theories for truth.

And we can also do "The Work" in relationship to our thoughts about others. We are invited to put those thoughts up against her 4 questions:

• Is it true?
• Can you absolutely know that it's true?
• How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
• Who would you be without that thought?

The last and most important step is to turn your thoughts around. Here is a summary to help you remember what to do in the midst of suffering:

Judge someone, write it down

Ask four questions

Turn it around.

For more information go to www.thework.com 

Do You Love Your Dentist?

I was in the dentist chair two hours yesterday. I need a "crown" and we aren't talking the regal kind. I've been going to the same dentist for 12 years, he purchased the practice from my previous dentist who died suddenly of a heart attack.

I don't always understand Dr. Chen because of his strong accent but he is a caring man who is gentle. He has a remarkable memory that I admire. If I haven't seen him for six months he can still talk to me about my family, remembering many details of what they are doing.

Yesterday when he began drilling I could feel it, so he quickly numbed my gums and then put in the freezing. He is skilled with the needle and constantly checking in with me about my experience. He gives you a rest when you need it and generally I feel well cared for in his hands.

I know too I have a part to play. I keep reminding myself to relax and breath. I've heard Dentists have a high suicide rate and I think it could be because of the constant energy that they are enfolded in.... the anxiety of their patients. So next time you are at your dentist, relax, smile and know that you are both receiving help and giving it!

Coming Home

When we crossed into Canada from the States recently, Bob commented, "I always sigh a sigh of relief when we get back to Canada." I feel the same way. I love the States and I too am glad to be back in Canada. Somehow Canada feels safer, maybe because we know that the majority of our citizens do not carry guns. In the States guns are so easy to buy and they have the right to bear arms. And it seems like everyone does.
So I have one queston:

Would Tryvon Martin be alive today if Zimmerman had not had a gun? Just asking. Pic....Wouldn't it be a better world if we armed ourselves with a cat that has an attitude? "Don't mess with my human!

Expectations

People often expect such wonderful things from us. You're studying for a test and sweating over it and they say, "Oh, you'll do great!" You're lost on a country road with huge wild turkey vultures surrounding your car and they say, "Don't worry we'll find our way."

I remember when I went to Unity Village for the interview process to see if I'd be accepted into the ministry program. They kept saying, "Oh, don't worry you'll get in!" My greatest fear was I wouldn't and then I'd have to come back and face them.

And then there are the weeks where my talks don't seem to come together with ease and grace and they (he) says, "Oh they always do!" Somehow it's a comforting comment on the one hand and on the other it seems to negate the effort required. I'm not sure that even explains it quite but there is that feeling of both someone having confidence in me and just expecting too darn much.

Would it be okay to fail? Would it be okay to get a "B or a C" instead of an "A"? Just asking.  Pic.. the Peace Tower at Unity Village and the Bridge of Faith leading to it.

Something I need, begins with "C"

It is CLARITY. I need clarity. I need you to be clear with me about what you are trying to say. Don't beat around the bush; hint; guess that I know what you are trying to say; don't assume I know; just tell me with plain, clear language.

Does that sound like something you are wishing for as well? Do your family and friends make a lot of assumptions about you? Do you make a lot of assumptions about them? We all communicate every day and yet we still have trouble telling each other what we want to say. It amazes me.

I guess we are embarrassed, afraid, too shy, lack confidence, or all of the above to just say it! Now there is a "sidebar" about this. Is what you want to tell a person true? Is it really true? Will your comment build them up or tear them down? Is the comment more about you than them?

Speak, speak clearly, but be impeccable with your words.
Pic.. Niagara Falls....let your judgements fall away, let your fears fall away, be real and authentic so much so that nothing can keep you from being the divine flow of life that you are.

Questions

We have a lot of beliefs about ourselves and others. A belief being a thought we've repeatedly thought until we finally think it's the truth. It's so familiar we think it's the truth. The problem is that the beliefs that keep us unhappy or trapped in a particular habit are difficult to break down. But Byron Katie gives us four questions we can ask ourselves in an attempt to get to the truth. Here are two of them:

• Is it true?
• Is it really true?

"If I loose weight, I'll only gain it back."  Is that true? Is it really true? The past doesn't have to define your future.   "That person will never change." Is that true? Is that really true? Maybe what needs to happen is we need to change our perception of that person so we can see any changes.

So you get the gist of it. To learn more, I'll be teaching a class on Wednesday March 28th at Unity exploring how we can find peace in the midst of any situation. I'll be using her Loving What Is inquiry process.

Pic.. Me in BC a few years ago.

Simplifying

I love the feeling of things being simple. I want to carry less around...is it possible for a woman to not carry a purse? I want to bring less "stuff" home and take more "stuff" out of my home. I want the counters to always be clear but there is always that one place where the mail is dropped, magazines and flyers etc.

Recently I organized my laundry room by hanging a key holder on its wall. No big deal you might think but now when we walk in the house we hang the keys right there instead of putting them on the foyer table. I know a couple who have the least cluttered home I've ever been in. I wonder how do they do it? Was there a closet full to overflowing with their "stuff"?

What I've discovered too is that when my mind is cluttered with thoughts, worry or anxiousness then my outer space looks cluttered. Whatever is going on inside of us out pictures around us. But I do think our house is decorated like most with nick nacks; pictures; furniture and such. Yet sometimes I want to clear every space of its weight but how do you give away gifts given in love? How do you give away stuff you think you'll need one day?

Somehow I think it's a Nike answer.... Just Do It! I'm not a hoarder. I don't have a messy house. I just want more clarity around me. Maybe there's an inner shift taking place within me and the outer is trying to keep up. Can you relate to how I'm feeling and if so what have you done about it?

Pic.. Our pond in the summer with a frog on a lily pad. Even nature can be crowded and needs to be pruned to give space for everything to be nurtured.

Dresses and Friends

While in Florida, I thought their warm weather climate would be a good place to shop for my "mother of the bride" dress. I started to shop for "beachy and flowy" for the Mexican wedding but ended up with fitted and fabulous!

It really helped to have the honest opinion of my dear friend Suzie Q. She manoeuvred me through the dress options with her gentle, "you can do better than that". And if I hadn't found the dress in Florida, another very stylish friend would have helped me shop here.

Friends are very valuable in our life. They walk with you through the paths of choices and decisions. They listen when you need to talk; laugh with you and cry with you and mostly they just are there for you. To all the people who are good friends to someone.... thanks! You are needed and appreciated.
Pic... 5th Ave shopping and restaurant district in Naples Florida.

My To Do List

I would love to finish unpacking, tidy up and do grocery shopping today. However I am right back into the thick of things. I do my ministry work at Unity and elsewhere when asked. This morning I am conducting Longworth Long Term Care's memorial service for residents who have passed on in the last three months. They don't have a spiritual care person at this time and I am happy to step in. My connection is through a staff member whose wedding ceremony I officiated.

I have errands to do, people to meet and places to go. My dad used to say that when I'd ask him where he'd been.

So, is there anything better than being of service? ... Maybe resting afterwards!

Pic.. Linda, Victoria and I at the Cheesecake Factory in Kansas City a year or so ago. All ministers that love to be of service, have fun and rest! Life really is grand.

Do You Want to Be A Millionaire??

Yes! And I'd buy a house in Naples along the water. This morning we went to Barefoot Beach and saw the marina and the million dollar houses along the water. I'd love to live a week or a weekend in one just for fun.

I love it here! There is so much beauty and so many palm trees to enjoy. We may go for a sunset cruise this weekend that sails amidst the many water canals. And even though I would enjoy living as a millionaire I appreciate my life right here and now.

You don't need to have a lot of money to be happy. You don't need money to be in a good relationship. Those things are priceless. A million dollars does not guarantee happiness. It guarantees a beautiful house but it's the people inside that make it a beautiful  home or not. Pic...The Semple Backyard in the summer. Isn't it loverly??

A Laugh a Day!

The way to begin the day, I think, is with a laugh. It sets the day up with levity, massages the inards and just plain helps you feel good. Chuck was telling the story the other day of a little girl in the pool who kept staring at him. She was swedish, so Chuck couldn't tell what she was saying. Finally her mother told Chuck that the little girl thought he looked like Santa. So Chuck asks the little girl, " Have you been good this year?" She laughed with glee!

Yes laughter is good. If you aren't feeling happy in the moment just reach for the next best thought. Think of something that made you laugh in the past. In such a moment I have returned to a story Suzanne told of when she was working the McDonald's drive thru. 

At the time Mcdonalds had a special and you could have your drink in a doodle cup. A doodle cup was a plastic cup with pictures and mazes on it that kids could doodle on. So Suzanne's in the drive thru and intends to ask the male customer, "Would you like your drink in a doodle cup sir?" But it came out, "Sir, would you like your dink in a doodle cup?" Overcome with laughter she had to vacate the booth!

Pic..funny

They Come and Go

I noticed at the airport that when we got off the plane there were a line of people waiting to get on. I commented that it always seems nicer to be the ones arriving than the ones leaving. Perhaps you feel the same?

And there is the expression that it's always nice to go away but we love to come back "home". I sometimes look at all the people around and think about them all heading "home". The place where we feel most comfortable and where we can be ourselves. It is our domain. Our lives are filled with thoughts that what we do is important; where we go; who we are with; the job we do...the life we live. It is filled with "doing".

A class at Unity Naples stressed the message that whatever we are experiencing is our soul's yearning to bring us back to the Source which is unconditional love. Our ego takes us away from love. But as Dorothy kept saying.....There's no place like home....there's no place like home...   She fell asleep and woke up at home. So if we fall asleep to our ego and life of "doing" we too can return to our real home of Source..of unconditional love.

Pic.. love is everywhere.

$29.99

Last night we had dinner at Cafe Luna on 5th Ave.(Carol take note)  The food is fabulous and the deal is dinner for 2 and a bottle of wine! The place was packed. They have outside and inside dining and with the beautiful warm air it was so pleasant. We didn't make it to the beach for the sunset but we will perhaps tonight.

Today... aw I have the thrill of looking for a bathing suit. Now ladies you know how much fun that is! I was going to write that if you are a model you would love the experience but I now am not sure if that is true. Even models have body issues. So basically it is unfortunate any of us have such issues because it chains us to negative thougths.

So I go forth to fairly sizzle with zeal and enthusiam as I find the perfect suit for my sweet body! (How's that?)   Pic... Here is Suzanne at the Winterpark Pool (And YES I have her permission to post this photo) which makes it all the more sweet ... this woman is beautiful and has embraced her beauty.

R & R

It's been an interesting day being in the energy of many people and arriving in Paradise. Balloons and flags were hung, and happy faces were added to that, greeting us at the door. We met with our new family and with dear friends.

It is time for a sabbath. Time to rest and renew. All is well and I hope it is with you as well.

Pics... aren't these tulips bright and cheerful?

Not Much On At 3 In The Morning

Last night was one of those nights. I could not sleep. Then our cat, Hannah, started crying at our bedroom door and she wouldn't stop. So I got up, fed her and watched some TV. Pickings are slim at that time of the night. "They say" if you can't sleep it's best to get up for awhile. So it was 3 am when Jenn and Greg came home and were surprised to see me up. I'd already gone to bed when they were just heading out for a night on the town.

This visit they brought Scooter with them . Scooter is about 2 months old and very cute. He is a friend for Charlie the cat who was left at home this time. With Scooter being so small there were fears of him falling between railings or getting into some kind of mischief, so they brought him along.

The thing about this kitty is he appears to be fearless and full of energy. He wants to investigate everything. He runs up to our three cats, gets into their beds, drinks and eats from their dishes. He seems oblivious to their size or hisses.

As kids I think we are fearless and as we grow we lose some of that. In the process we learn what we can run up to and what we shouldn't. That's all good, we need to be safe. At the same time I think we lose some of our nerve to try new things and to run toward our dreams. We can always learn from the little ones.

Pic... Scooter moves pretty fast so this was the best pic I could get!

Please Dear God....

Today one of those old beseeching prayers would feel comfortable. Today's would sound like ...pplllllleeeasssee God... make the dress fit!!!!!!!!!

You see, my daughter Jenn and I are travelling to Mississauga to pick up her wedding dress. The last time we were at Davids Bridal they measured for alterations. If it fits we can bring it home. If it doesn't.. we'll have to make another trip.

Somehow the old prayers can feel good because we're giving responsibility for our experience to something outside of ourselves. But in Truth, we are always responsible for what is happening and in the very least for how we show up with what is happening. 


So my real prayer is to have the eyes to see the goodness in everything that unfolds today.


Pic .. Jenn and I at the BSB & NKOB concert.

Really??

I heard an American voter say, "I like to vote for a guy who can hold a baby well. He doesn't seem all that comfortable with a baby."

I think I've heard it all now. Vote for the guy who looks the most comfortable holding a baby. I can see the campaign managers coaching their candidates on how to perfect the skill of holding a baby with ease as if you've done it a million times.

Then I got to thinking... the very decisions being made today will affect our babies' tomorrows. Maybe if the candidates did spend more time holding babies, they might realize the weight of their decisions. Perhaps along with a speaker of the house there could be a "baby of the house".

That baby would represent all babies everywhere. When a vote is called the baby would be passed amongst the politicians as they speak their vote. Well, it might sound silly, but I think politics needs more heart, less head and less partisanship.

Pic.. How could you vote for something, that would mean little Anastasia Rose's world would be more polluted, less safe and less hopeful ?

Money Money Money

Last night's movie at Unity focused on non violent protests in India, Nashville USA and South Africa. All the protests were successful....why? Because the protests hit where it hurts..the wallet.

In India Gandhi led a march to the sea for people to get their own salt. The British had a monopoly on salt and were taxing it heavily. Gandhi asked people to spin their own cloth rather than buy British made clothes. His non violent actions hit the British government and retailers in the wallet. It worked.

In Nashville, a city that was totally segregated, black college students began a movement for desegregation. They began by occupying stools at "white only" lunch counters. Hundreds of students were arrested. Then the movement was expanded by the black community and stores were boycotted. Eventually the mayor of Nashville declared that it was not okay to descriminate.

When people aim for the wallet...changes can be made. Not because desegregation or occupation of a country is morally wrong or down right cruel but because profit was lost.

Such movements take discipline, organization and a common vision. Food for thought. Is there anything you want to change? How about a non violent movement?

Pic.. Do you see the birds sitting on my car wheel? Let's turn this around...YOU tell me how this picture portrays my message.

"Free Love" Is It Possible??

In the movie Wanderlust, a couple stays in a B&B run by a free loving commune. It's all about tending the farm in the day and happy, smoking, skinny dipping, dancing, times at night. Coming from the hustle and bustle of New York, country life looks pretty good.

Do most people desire a free style of living? Would you want to live in a community where "what's yours is mine" ...literally. Would you want to live with little if any responsibility knowing that comes with little privacy and a lot of people? What do you think?

Pic..There's lots of free love in Wanderlust.

What's "Super" About This Tuesday?

For our American friends, today is Super Tuesday. That means 11 states are going to the polls, continuing the race for who will run against President Obama in their next election.

I know there is divine order unfolding but wow, I wish I had the inside scoop. From my point of view the choices are very lacking which can be good for me since I like Obama.

What I really dislike is the terrible ads each of the candidates run against each other. I dislike the idea of a really fundamental religious person in the White House. I dislike the idea they bring the message "my God is better than your God". Last time I looked the President of the United States stood to represent ALL people which means ALL faiths, ALL colours, ALL sexual orientations.. ALL.

Perhaps if we hold the space for a cleaner campaign that focuses on the issues and solutions rather than crucifying people, together we will lift it up. A campaign grounded in integrity would be refreshing.

Pic..Pillars make me think of " halls of justice". They are strong and reach high....politicians should be like them.

Where Have the Years Gone?

Today is my birthday and I am grateful for so many things in my life. My greatest contribution to the world is my daughter. She and her descendants will be blessing the world long after I am gone. Next I am grateful for my relationship with Bob, my family and friends. And after yesterday's annual general meeting at the church, I was reminded of how many lives I've blessed, and I am grateful for that.

I'm a wee bit sad too when my thoughts wander to the years, ahead realizing they are fewer than the ones behind. So the trick is to stay in the now. Appreciate this day, this moment and know too that they are creating my moments of tomorrow. So in other words, the quality of my tomorrows, depends on what I am doing today.

Thanks to everyone who has walked this journey with me, whether that was for a day, a year or my entire lifetime. We're in relationship for a reason. We are connected and that bond can never be broken. So a great big HUG to you all! I love you.
Pic.. Life is a dance and the partner you pick is so important. I am lucky I picked a good and strong man.

A Blank Slate

Each day is a blank slate. We can create what we want. Make it the best day or not. Today I'll be speaking about our society's idea that we are individuals. Lynne McTaggart brings to light some of the most recent scientific studies that say we are not. That something can only be seen when it is in relationship with something else. She also writes about their being no real demarcation line showing where you end and I begin. We have a bond.

We are healthier in relationships; live longer because of them and enjoy life more so because we are connected.
Pic... Bob and I with Bob's mom and Aunt Winnie... both have passed on. They were important in our lives.

The Wonder of Wind

It was a dark and stormy night and the wind blew and blew. I'm pretty sure after last night's winds that any loose pieces of twig, sticks or debris were blown away. Perhaps we experienced the left over wind from the southern tornadoes.

Wouldn't it be something if we could stand in a wind storm, open our minds and have our negative thoughts and fears blown away from us? If only it were that easy. Fear is something that can get a grip on us and is very difficult to shake free.
Fear...you get to choose what it means...

False evidence appearing real
Finding excuses and reasons
Forget everything and run
Failure expected and received.
For everything a reason
Forget everything and relax

As with all things.. we are the meaning makers.  Pic..For instance what's the story behind this picture?

Disappointment

What do we do with personal disappointment? It's easy isn't it....to feel disappointed in oneself and in others? I think it's because we have oh so many expectations. We want things to be a certain way and when they aren't...we are disappointed. We want our families, travel experiences, work experiences, homes and bodies to be what we want them to be.

Shakespeare said, "To be or not to be, that is the question." And the truth is that the only common denominator in all of our experiences is us. It's you and me. So what does it take to be?

Daily, I think it takes reading powerful spiritual material; speaking affirmations that uplift your spirit and getting still, closing your eyes and listening to the still small voice. You know it's Spirit's words when they are loving. Anything less is our personality spewing it's shame and blame over unreasonable expectations.

Try these affirmations:
God is love..I am love. God is peace...I am peace.
The spirit of God as me prospers, heals and harmonizes my life.

Pic...Renovations take us from order to disorder to a new and better order. We think we'll never get past the messy part but we do. It may help us to know that on the way to getting to where we want to be, we're bound to experience some messy times.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

There is a song that contains those words in it. "Do you hear what I hear? " Maybe it's from the little drummer boy? It seems though people having a conversation may speak the same language, what each hears may differ from what is being said. Communication is so very tricky. I think it's because we all hear with our judgements,  perceptions and expectations.

It goes back to Maria Nemeth's work. We create a "structure of knowing" about a person. Then we knowingly or unknowingly work to gather evidence that supports that structure. We are slow to let structures collapse. We want to be right, save face, justify our actions.

Here is a way to check if what you are hearing is what is being said. ASK "is this what you are saying?" Check in with the person, don't walk away with your assumptions, hurt or confusion. Doing so will save a lot of pain.
Pic... Keep the love flowing with good, clear and compassionate communication.